Adoption, Parenting

A Letter to A–

Dear A–,

I miss you.  This summer you burst into our world and made everything technicolor and bubbly.  Without you here, our family has a hole in it.  We talk about you every day, A–.  We wonder what you’re doing and we pray for you.

They’ve told you by now that we would like to be your family, not just for the summer, but for your whole life.  And I heard what you told them when they asked what you wanted to do.  You said that you want to live with us forever.  Hearing that over the ocean made me laugh and cry and dance all at once.  It’s your choice, sweetheart, and that you would choose us is the most amazing gift you could ever give me.

We weren’t sure what you would decide, because it’s a big decision, precious girl.  From the beginning, we made our decision, that we were all in, that we would go for it, careen headlong into love and trust God to pick up the pieces of our hearts if you decided differently.  We’ve known our big God long enough to know that we can trust Him, when our hearts are shattered and when our hearts are pumping with joy.

When you saw me working on all those stacks of papers, they were all for you.  Every night after we read stories and I tucked you into bed and kissed your forehead, I came downstairs and made sense of all the papers and every one of them was for you.

I want you to know something.  I started all that paperwork at the beginning of your visit.  It’s important to me that you understand that our loving you isn’t something you had to earn or work for.  I didn’t fill out papers because you helped me with the dishes or because you had perfect behavior.  Not at all.  We knew we wanted to adopt you because we love you, and there isn’t anything you need to do or say to earn our love.  And there isn’t anything you need to do or say to keep our love.  You have it, all the time no matter what.

We know you like hot pink with black and white and scrolly, intricate, swirly designs.  You are our Fancy Nancy, our flowy scarf girl, our hat and sparkles girl.  I can’t wait for you to see your room.  You are going to flip out.

All it needs is you in it.

I also couldn’t help myself when I saw this shirt for you.

We are waiting on pins and needles to get the call that we can come get you.  We’re hoping that it’s soon, soon, soon.  I already packed the gummy bears, sweet girl.

Love,

Mel-ah-NEE-ah, but you can call me Mommy

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Uh, need a little backstory?  Summer A– posts can be found HERE.

 

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