So…a lot’s happened this week. Rich Stearns told Religion News Service that World Vision had lost “less than 5,000” sponsors in the short time before reversing its decision on same-sex marriage for the U.S. staff. It’s taken me four years to find about 250 sponsors for our Adacar CarePoint kids, so that number takes my breath away.
And there was a lot of fighting, which also takes my breath away. I sought air in fresh places.
During a week in which I was glued to Twitter and had to forcibly pry my own fingers off my iPhone, I took many breaks to play with the kids. As I’ve mentioned, er, maybe a few times, like Indoor Girl Rides a Bike and Dear Spring, I Hate You, the great outdoors and I are not big with the friendship. This week, I actually took all three kids to the park near our house, and snort laughed over this conversation while Elliott and A– were swinging next to each other:
Elliott: We’re on a double date!
Me: A double date? Um, what is that?
Elliott: When two people swing next to each other.
Me: Never change. You’re amazing.
After all our fun double dating and Evie trying to skewer me with an extremely long branch (in a funny way), we made it back to our driveway, where I was reminded why we are indeed indoor people. In a contagion of clumsiness, all three kids fell down and started screaming – what’s one level up from bloody murder?
Evie was the first to go, when she bit it crossing the threshold into the garage. Her knee starting bleeding and her wails filled the air, sound waves penetrating the pollen. I walked over to calm her down with promises of band-aids and reassurances of her bravery, and then A– called, “Mommy LOOK!” as she attempted some kind of BMX dirt bike trick that her purple Huffy just couldn’t cut. She went down in flames, and her screams met Evie’s in the air. I started nodding to the neighbors. Outside time. Pulling. It. Off.
As I was helping her to the house, Elliott, deciding he could do better, sideswiped his neon orange bike, took out his knee, and somehow impaled his chest with his own handlebar. I don’t even know. It was impressive.
Now. We can definitely put the phrase “scream like a girl” to rest, because Elliott made his sisters look like Navy SEALS. He would not be consoled. I took a bow for the neighbors. “Thanks. We’ll be here all week. You’ve been a great audience.”
I herded my crew into the safety of the house. Ah, fresh air. Finally I could breathe again. After massive quantities of band-aids, I mustered as much sympathy as I could while trying not to laugh hysterically, because COME ON. The Rockettes couldn’t have nailed the timing better. It was like (to the tune of New York New York):
Start spreadin’ the news…
Elliott was amazing. A half hour later, he was still wailing so badly that his sisters took pity on him and folded his laundry. This was a con, because he was really okay. Someday when he’s married, he will rock the Man Cold like nobody’s business. I checked in on him a little while later and he stuck out his adorable Bill Clinton lip at me and said with no irony whatsoever, “I feel like I’m gonna die.”
He showed me the mild abrasion on his chest and shared that he was worried about his heart stopping. I explained that he had a big bone there called a sternum and in was really hard to break it. He looked at me dubiously.
The next day, I voted for much indoor fun with all of the games and puzzles. Because I hate myself. Does anyone remember my feelings on games with small children?
Evie took this picture of me while playing.
I’m sorry you had to see me like that. But this is reality, people. Thankfully, I took a picture of her, too, which will help wash the mental pic of me making that face right out of your mind:
Because who doesn’t need to wear a big froofy tutu while working a princess puzzle. I’m thinking of trying it myself.
In final news for this end of week wrap up, we got our court date for A–, which means the hubs is heading back overseas in a few days to make her an official Dale. Which means…soon I will share her name and pictures and I’ll ask your forgiveness in advance for blowing up my blog with her gorgeous face. I mean, you’re welcome.
Hey, can we all just hug lots of people this weekend? Let’s just go crazy. Hug it out, y’all. If I see you, I’m going in for a full frontal, so brace yourself. I love you. All of you. ALL of you.