This week at If: Catalyst Lab, I was talking with a friend about something and I thought, hmm, I’d like to expand this conversation and hear what you guys have to say. We were talking about prayer and getting with God, and I struggle with that sometimes, and I wonder if anyone can relate?
For years now, in a lot of different ways, I’ve been telling God that I can get my body where it needs to be but He’s going to have to do the rest.
-I can get my body on that stage to talk about the orphans who need sponsors, but he has to show up and calm me down and speak through me.
-I can get my body to the youth retreat, but he’s going to have to infuse me with energy and the ability to focus on the students when I just want to curl up on my couch and put my feet up after a long week.
-I can get my body to the mom date to hang out with a new friend, but he has to pour his love through me into her, cuz I feel a little raw and unloving and unlovable at the moment.
-I can get my body into bed to reconnect with my husband, but God’s going to have to meet me there, because after the kids tugging on me all day, I have no desire to be touched by another human being, much less pull off sexiness.
Sometimes it seems that my part is to get my body where it needs to be and trust God to empower me in the moment, because on any given weekday when I’m juggling all the things, I don’t feel like I have a lot to offer.
And he does. He continues to meet me and work in and through me, even when I feel like a shell of a woman.
The same is true for prayer. Sometimes I don’t want to pray. Or I feel like it won’t do any good, that maybe I’m just talking to myself, that I can’t quiet my mind enough to hear the small, still voice of my savior.
I want to act like I’m this fantastic praying superhero, but the truth is, my mind is easily distracted and sometimes I just don’t “feel it” with God. Because of my tendency to get up inside my head and unable to focus on things like holiness and abiding in his presence, I practice the posture of prayer.
So I spend time with my face on the floor. I can get my body into a posture of prayer, of submission, of readiness to receive. I can’t guarantee that my brain will be there, but I press forehead and knees into carpet and extend an invitation.
Sometimes when I’m kneeling I repeat back to him all the things he’s teaching me about himself. God, you’re holy. I can trust you. You’re gracious. You don’t change. Nothing surprises you. You are love.
How about you? In your crowded, busy life, with very little space between thoughts and demands, how do you get with God? What are you learning about that?
image from Alejandro Hernandez at https://flic.kr/p/7R2bMo