Parenting

Hobbies Include: Binge-Watching TV and…

You guys, we’re about halfway through For the Love of Blog month, where I’m rediscovering my love of blogging by essentially being weird and writing a serial short story and inundating you with a post every day.  Halfway there, and in August I’ll go back to being delightfully normal.  (I can’t back that up.)  Also, don’t forget that I’m giving away a big box of presents.  You have two days left to enter as I’m writing this and I really hope you win.  Okay, let’s see how Mags and Matty are doing.

“They won’t quit coming,” Mags sighed.  “But I have a plan.  If I can survive long enough to enact the plan.”  

“How can I help?”  Matt asked.

“You’re doing it, answering my call, picking me up.  I didn’t know if you would.”

“You haven’t been around in awhile.”  

“Life’s just gotten…complicated.  But I’m about to uncomplicate it.”

***Oooh, what’s she going to do?  I’m so concerned.  Maybe she should just curl up with a fuzzy blanket for a day or two.***

Okay, we need to talk about binge-watching TV.  Do you do this?  Last summer I binge-watched Battlestar Galactica and this summer it’s Dexter (with my hands over the iPad screen during any naked parts).

I’ve tried to fight it.  I’ve canceled cable.  I’ve canceled Netflix.  I’ve re-upped cable.  I’ve re-upped Netflix.  I adore TV.  I love it love it like lurrrve it.

And I read books and have like deep thoughts and stuff, BUT TV.  Lurrrve.  I stare transfixed at the screen, my mind blown by epic storylines again and again.

sherlockoh

One time I was working on my resume and under “hobbies” I wanted to put “watching TV” and Alex suggested I change that to “reading.”

All hail the binge-watch.  I look at people who don’t do this like:

sherlockeyebrow

If you also indulgeth in the TV, you may have noticed some patterns.  There are several stages to a good binge-watch:

1. Denial

I’m just going to check out this show I’ve heard about and watch an episode.  It’s been a long week.  I deserve this.  I’ll just eat this popcorn and put my feet up for an hour.  The TV doesn’t own me.  I am totally in control of my decision-making.

2. Disorientation

How long have I been sitting here?  What happened to this whole bag of popcorn?  Did I just finish first season?  When was the last time I went to the bathroom?

3. Determination

Well, it’s 3am and I don’t have to get up for three more hours.  I can finish second season.  It’s go time.  (Um…this is a real scenario that totally happened last weekend…to my friend.  It happened to my friend.  I would never.)

I was going to have a fourth D about regret, Dregret, but I never regret watching TV.  I am shameless.  Please insert something here about being committed to good storytelling, and the battle between good and evil, and character development.

What are you watching right now?

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gifs from giphy.com

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