Infreakinfertility: How to Survive When Getting Pregnant Gets Hard
“This isn’t a book about conquering infertility. This is a book about surviving it.”
I felt like a babyless freak. No matter what we tried, I couldn’t get pregnant, even after standing on my head after sex. I was pretty sure I was the only woman on the planet going through infertility, certainly the only one jamming needles into my butt on commercial breaks during my favorite TV shows. Everyone was getting pregnant around me and no one was talking about what happened if you couldn’t.
After my experience, I wanted to write a book for other infertile women and couples who feel alone, the book I wish I’d had when I was going through it, filled with dark humor and illustrations of quirky ovaries and whimsical sperm. If you’re like me, you want blunt, honest conversations about all the crazy stuff you’re going through with someone who’s been there and understands at least some of what you’re dealing with and how you’re feeling. And if it can somehow give you permission to laugh without diminishing the pain you’re feeling? Even better.
This is the funnest book you’ll ever read about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Each chapter covers a different challenge with infertility and is broken into sections, a little of my story and concerns, a blurb from my husband, Alex, kind of a window into his dudely brain, and practical tips on how to cope. Read it yourself, read it as a couple, and if you’re struggling to explain your feelings to friends and family, hurl a copy at them and run away.
I really wish you didn’t need this book, but since you do, come on over. You’re not alone.
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Jeanette Strole Parks
Former published indie music critic and occasional food/home improvement blogger. Adoptive mother of one, after nine years of infertility. Olympia, Washington.
“Melanie Dale has written a book that I wish I had nine years ago when I was wallowing in the depths of infertility while my über-fertile friends made babies with gumball machine efficiency. I would’ve given my left ovary (I said, “It looks like the Death Star!” during my ultrasound) to have had this book, or a friend like her, at that time. If you’re going through infertility, read this book and take heart. There are lots of us out there who have felt like you do now, and Melanie put it all on paper. With lots of amazing Nerd references, both the candy and pop-culture types.”
Freelance writer, wife, mother of four – two babies in heaven and a son and daughter here – struggled with endometriosis, infertility, and pregnancy loss. York, South Carolina.
“Infreakinfertility is a book I wish I would have had when I was in the trenches of infertility. Melanie shares her journey through infertility with the perfect combination of vulnerability, humor, and practical advice. She gives us an authentic glimpse of what it is like to walk this difficult road and guidance to keep taking the next step forward.”
Wife, adoptive momma, and survivor of four IVFs, serial mover, and world changer. Reston, Virginia.
“This is your “I’m not the only one” and “this stinks for everyone” book. If you are dealing with infertility this book will be a confirmation that you are not alone, or crazy. If you know someone dealing with infertility, read this so you can know how to be the perfect friend, not “that” friend. Everyone will be better off for it.”
Blogger, ministry assistant, mother of three who walked through ten years of infertility, and now MiMi of three. Tamms, Illinois.
“If you are struggling with infertility and think no one understands, think again. Melanie and her husband relate their story in a humorous and understanding way. You will definitely not feel alone after reading their story!”
Photographer & graphic designer at Whispers of Light Photography & Design, author in the making who blogs at www.godkindled.com, and ecstatic mother-to-be (FINALLY!). Buckinghamshire, United Kingdom.
“Melanie has done it again! When I was knee deep in my fertility journey and read It’s Not Fair, I had no idea it would affect me so profoundly and change the shape of my journey through infertility simply by making me feel seen and validated in my pain. If It’s Not Fair did that, Infreakinfertility carries on in that spirit but hits with even more precision. With her No-Holds-Barred approach, Melanie touches on every aspect of surviving the devastation of infertility, from the emotional/spiritual side, to the relational side, to the physical/medical side, to sex! And all while making me laugh out loud. I’m so grateful!”
Wife, chemist, photographer, cat lover, Diet Coke drinker, and loving life with no children. Julian, Pennsylvania.
“Melanie brings empathy (and at times hilarity) to a desperately rough experience. If you are going through infertility, Infreakinfertility will help you realize you are not alone and what you are feeling is normal. This book is a must read for anyone whose life has been touched, directly or indirectly, by infertility.”
Katie King Rumford
Graphic designer, wife of a rockstar (not literally, but I’m his number one fan), sister to five incredible brothers, dog mom, IVF survivor, and a hopeful yet-to-be-mother. Dana Point, California.
“Infertility sucks, we all know it, but not everyone talks about it. Some people avoid the subject, not wanting to cause discomfort, some people talk about it too openly without knowing that their words meant for encouragement actually hurt us more, and there are those who are oblivious. Melanie has a way of inviting you into her story, laying it on the table for all to see, yet making you feel heard, too. I felt like she was able to speak some of the words written on my heart that I am too bashful or scared to say out loud or put in writing. She gives weight to areas that others forget or don’t see and reminds us that we are not what we go through. We are refined by our experiences, made stronger and wiser, not defined by them. Trials will come, life was never supposed to be easy, but knowing other people are going through the same thing makes life a little bit easier. Thanks to Melanie for her bravery and honesty and of course for the doodles and humor.”
Teacher, mother, survivor of infertility after miscarriage. Knoxville, Tennessee.
“Melanie has found a way to write a book about infertility that doesn’t leave you feeling overwhelmed or bored by hearing the same old thing. She takes common experiences, thoughts, and feelings and explores those ideas in fresh ways. Her humor makes you laugh, but doesn’t discredit how hard infertility is. She isn’t afraid to tackle hard and awkward topics. I appreciated her ability to write in such an authentic way.”
Co-founder of Forever We, mom of two. Atlanta, Georgia.
“If my ovaries had a cheer squad, Melanie Dale would be cheer captain and win the spirit stick. She takes a delicate topic that most feel is off limits and manages to weave humor and practical application into one awesome read. If you are experiencing infertility or know someone who is, this book lets you know that you are not alone.”
Jesus freak, wife, mom through domestic infant adoption. Augusta, Georgia.
“In her usual style, Melanie tackles the difficult topic of infertility with boldness and humor. If you are looking for a book that screams “ME TOO,” then this is it. Through all my years of infertility struggles, I never had a book that made me feel sane or that echoed so much of what I felt. I wish I had this book to make me feel less alone at that time. Not only will you shout a lot of “amens” as you read it, but you will also laugh and cry. And you will appreciate having a male perspective as Melanie’s husband shares in each chapter. This book is practical and should be given to every woman you know because either she is facing infertility or knows someone who is. If you aren’t infertile, then read this book to better understand how to help your friend who is because it says all the things she may be scared to say to you.”
Christian, wife, and mother of two after seven years of primary and secondary infertility. Tampa, Florida.
“Infreakinfertility is a “bare all” guide to every aspect of infertility. Melanie invites women and couples in all stages of infertility to peek in to her experience and offers real, practical tips on how to survive. Her journey and anecdotes will make you laugh-cry in the best way possible. A must-read for those struggling with or caring for someone dealing with infertility.”