I keep fantasizing about faking my own death. After—how many months of lockdown? I’ve lost count—this seems almost reasonable. Surely …
Coffee+Crumbs: Flat Colorado
The thing they don’t tell you is how Colorado is flat. As a kid from Ohio, I always pictured mountains …
Coffee+Crumbs: Parenting in the Buff…y
We decided to spend the apocalypse introducing our kids to our favorite TV show of all time, Buffy the Vampire …
Coffee+Crumbs: On Cloth Diapers and Coming of Age in the Age of Coronavirus
My son just turned thirteen. His grand plans to take friends to a fully-immersive virtual reality experience are scrapped until …
20 Ideas for Zoom Calls BESIDES Talking about Coronavirus
Greetings from my basement. We’re in week seven of lockdown and I’m noticing a pattern. I get so lonely I …
Coffee+Crumbs: My One Night Stand with Meatless Grind
“Meatless grind sounds a lot like youth group-sanctioned hanky panky,” my friend and Coffee + Crumbs’ own Jenn Batchelor messaged …
Coffee+Crumbs: Worn
“UGH,” I blurted, disgusted with my whole life or maybe just this kitchen chair with the worn grooves from the …
Coffee+Crumbs: I Love You, but If You Leave Your Plate in the Sink Again I Will Shiv You in Your Sleep
“You should smile more,” my husband, Alex, said. My inner feminist reared up. How dare you, I thought. Next you’re …
Coffee+Crumbs: Work Hard, Play Hard
“Don’t touch my LEGOs!” I want to tell you my kid yelled that, but it was me. I’m the stingy …
Coffee+Crumbs: The Accidental Jogger
I went for a light jog and accidentally ended up in a 15K race, which I discovered when a group …
Coffee+Crumbs: Labored Breathing
Ooo-ooo-EEE, ooo-ooo-EEE. In a nondescript office building adjacent to the hospital, I remember learning Lamaze breathing in my prenatal class. …
Coffee+Crumbs: Baby Driver
The first time I drove a car by myself, fresh new license tucked in my wallet and 16-year-old hands carefully …
Coffee+Crumbs: Old Faithful
When I was a kid, my Aunt Caryl sent me a pink nightgown with “Victoria’s Secret” stitched across the front …
Coffee+Crumbs: The First Time I Took All My Kids to a Waterpark by Myself
This week I took all my kids to Six Flags by myself for the first time. If motherhood is like …
Coffee+Crumbs: If I Could Cinch Up Summer
Back in my eighties childhood in northeastern Ohio, my summer consisted of bike rides to our neighborhood pool with my …
Coffee+Crumbs: Aerosmith, Sin City, and Flipping the Bird
I’m probably not winning any Christian parenting awards. This year my husband, Alex, and I skipped Easter and flew to …
Coffee+Crumbs: Our Family Ghost
This morning I flushed another dump that wasn’t mine. I didn’t bother asking whose it was, because all three of …
Coffee+Crumbs: A Stink Bug Tried to Mate with Me
I live in Georgia, where the spiders and bugs are the size of dinosaurs. Since we don’t have enough freezing …
Coffee+Crumbs: Middle-Aged Sexy Time
“Agghh! My back! Why did you do that?!” I gasped. “I was trying to be sexy,” Alex admitted sheepishly. “I …
Coffee+Crumbs: We’re Pooper Scoopers
Last spring I got a new dog, Khaleesi, Protector of the Dale Kingdom, Mother of Maltipoos. Spring in Georgia is …
Coffee+Crumbs: The Most Isolating Thing I’ve Ever Experienced
I plod up the steps and open the door into the waiting room of the therapist’s office, coaxing my child …
Coffee+Crumbs: Moms Should Get a Pass for Public Peeing
Once there was a young mom. Well, young-ish. Okay, middle-ish mom with small children. Medium children. Okay, once there was …
Coffee+Crumbs: When Getting Pregnant Gets Hard
Monica: “I can’t believe this. My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I’ve always tried so hard to be a good …
Coffee+Crumbs: I See You, Teenage Daughter
Dropping the kids off for camp each year is a big event requiring weeks of preparation on my part to …
